The Washing Dish Causality Loop

I'm going to deviate briefly on my life to touch on a concept that I think has many applications in life, love, and business.  How many people have seen the commercial for the movie, or the movie itself, "The Breakup"?  In the commercial, Jennifer Aniston tells Vince Vaughn: "I don't WANT you to do the dishes, I WANT YOU to WANT to do the dishes".  For anyone who's EVER done the dishes (and is a girl), that is a really confusing statement.  Who the heck WANTS to do the dishes?  Of course the meaning behind it is that if you love this girl enough, you would want to always do the dishes... for example, in the hierarchy of things... even the most mundane tasks, because they hold value to the other instantly get catapulted into the realm of things that hold great enjoyment.  For example, for me, cleaning up after my wife is not fun.  But following that logic, because it's something my wife would benefit from and she would like me to do it... it instantly becomes an activity that should be on par with playing video games or eating a steak dinner... depending on how much I loved her.  Right...  On the flip side, if she loved me enough, her mowing the lawn should rate up there with going shoe shopping.  The logic just does not pan out.

There is however, another way to view this line and that is... the "You" should want to do the activity because it's what's best for "Us".  This line of reasoning works much better... as long as the other person also "WANTS" to do it... since I never saw the movie, I have no idea.  The true love example of this would mean that each person wants to do the dishes... because it's the right thing to do and it makes for, in general, a happier life.  The perfect example would be if my wife failed to do the dishes, I would actually be HAPPY that I had the opportunity to make things right... and if she DID do the dishes, I would STILL BE HAPPY because it means that she also wants to make things right.  Of course if this was the case... no one would be talking about the dishes... they would just get done and both parties grow in love for the other.  Fortunately, our household doesn't have that problem because I enjoy taking a full sink of dishes and clearing it out... makes me feel a sense of accomplishment.  Of course if my wife never let the sink get full, that'd be nice too... but meh, who cares.

But how does this apply to the business world?  Well, every company wants its employees to do what is best for... well, the company right?  In fact... they not only want them to do what's best for the company... they want the employee to WANT to do what's best for the company.  That's easy when you tell them exactly what you want them to do... and it's easy... and the employee enjoys doing it.  But what happens if its hard, or slightly fuzzy as to what you need to do, or the employee doesn't enjoy doing it?  Then what?  I think the line of reasoning in the previous paragraph still applies... there needs to be this "US" that everyone's working towards.  A communal objective that transcends the employee versus management mentality... something that moves beyond... I do my job... you give me money.  At some companies... it's the mission... at some, that's just the culture that's created.  I've been taking classes in HR for the past 4 months... and it's obvious that the culture impacts how people work.  At USAA, where I work, the emphasis on the member and what the men and women and families have to go through as someone who is in the military or is in the family of a military member is nearly oppressive.  We're constantly being shown the difficulties facing our "membership" and why it's our responsibility to make things better.  It's not about my paycheck... or how my manager's making me do things that s/he won't do or can't do... it's about the customer.  People stop paying attention to what they get and start thinking about something else... and that's what a company needs.  That something else.  The "Us" or the company.  When I start my company one of these days... someone remind me of the "Us".